The cabbie that drove me home tonight told me that he was the Ice Man.
I said “Why are you called that?”
“Because I’m the best damn driver there is”.
He asked me if I minded if he stopped at Tim’s to get a coffee (The Ice Man drinks it double triple). I said “sure”. I figured having a caffeinated driver is better than having a sleepy one. He told me the about being the Ice Man while we were waiting in the drive-through.
“I been driving 20 years” he said. “I know every damn nook and cranny in this town. Plus I was born and raised here”. He told me he took a professional driver’s course without even studying and got a 98%, “Even better than the instructor, he only got a 97″.
“Thats an Ice-man score” I said.
When we got the the bridge he asked me if it was okay if he smoked. I couldn’t bring myself to say no to the Ice Man. He rolled down the window. “The whole world is my ashtray” he said.
Close to home he asked me “Where you say you were going again?” I told him my address and started to explain where that was, but he cut me off, Indignant. “I was born and raised here! I know where that is!”
He missed my driveway and had to double back.
The Ice-Man never misses, he was just testing you.
The Ice-Man sounds right out of Kids in the Hall